The Importance of Positive Language
In the general chaos of everyday #mumlife, it’s forgivable to sometimes let the words spill out absent mindedly and not really be aware of what you’re saying to your kids. One day my daughter was drawing and she said “Mum look at this!”, and I (was busy and distracted) and replied with “wow” without actually looking at what she was doing and it turned out she was drawing on the table… Oops!
Using positive language with your children is something you need to train yourself to do and get into the habit of doing every day – as your words become their inner voice. Stop for a minute and consider if you can remember something positive your parents said to you as a child?
A very common thing most parents say to their children is “good boy” or “good girl” – but this is one best to avoid, as it places a strong emphasis on the child’s gender. Their gender is not what you want to praise – rather, their effort or achievement (simple replace with “good job” or one of my ideas in the list below). Another to be wary of is placing too much attention on the child’s appearance – so steer clear of “what a pretty girl”, instead, comment on their great choice of outfit, ask them if they dressed themselves today, “did you pick out your own clothes?” . Our society today is already too obsessed with appearance.
It’s always important for your children to know how proud you are of them, no matter what. But we also want to encourage intrinsic motivation; which is the child’s feeling of pride within themselves.
So here’s my list I’ve put together of some positive language you can start using with your child TODAY! Pick a few favourites and train your brain to start using them!
50 positive Things to Say to Your Child
- Well done
- Good job
- Very clever
- So proud of you
- You should be proud of yourself!
- That was very kind
- How nice of you
- Thank you so much
- What lovely manners
- I like how you did that
- Look at you go!
- You did it!
- Hooray!
- You are such a nice friend
- That was very caring of you
- Fantastic effort
- You tried so hard
- That was brilliant
- High five!
- You tried your very best
- I knew you could do it
- That looks wonderful
- You’re such a great person
- Brilliant job
- Terrific effort today
- Super
- Way to go
- Thank you for doing such a great job
- Of course I can
- You did that all by yourself
- As long as you try your best that’s all that matters
- That looks like fun
- Wow!
- You’re an amazing little person!
- Good for you
- That was very brave
- Thank you so much for sharing
- Awesome job with that!
- Well done for trying something new
- What a super star!
- You bring me joy
- You made me smile
- That was awesome
- What a good listener
- This is where you belong
- Great discovery!
- Let’s have a hug
- I love you sooooo much!
- I love you all the way to the moon and back!
Another helpful tip, we may not always like our child’s behaviour, but we do always love them. Make sure you tell them that as well;
- “I didn’t like that you hit your brother, but I still love you no matter what”.
Start Today
Every day we can create a positive inner voice for our kids. I encourage you to grab our free 50 Positive Things to Say to Your Child printable and pop it on your fridge, in child’s bedroom etc and before you know it, you’ll have a variety of positive things to say to your child.
Written by Lauren Hunt
Lauren is a mum of two and an early years teacher from Adelaide SA. She writes about all things early learning and parenting at her blog Teacher Types.
