Dear Finlee,
It’s 7:53pm and instead of going upstairs to make 24 birthday cupcakes that you can take to your class tomorrow, I’ve decided I’d rather spend the next few minutes writing a letter to you before you turn 6 years old. Because making cupcakes means it’s a reality; you’re growing up way too quickly.
For a couple of years Daddy and I tried so hard to have a baby. Every month Mommy would get so excited hoping that this might be the month that I would have a baby growing in my tummy. However, the months, rolled into years and we almost lost hope. However, on Christmas morning December 25th, 2008 we found out Mommy was pregnant. There were tears Finlee, a lot of tears because the day had finally come when Mommy could say “I’m having a baby!!”
As you know Finlee John, Mommy is not a patient person. I needed to know immediately if you were going to be a boy or a girl and on April 21st, 2009 at 4:12pm, during our 20 week scan Daddy and I found out that you were a BOY! With more tears, I starred at you on the screen and all I could do was smile. You had (and still do) your Daddy’s head, my nose and everything else about you was perfect. My dream of finally being a Mommy was getting closer; only 20 more weeks until we would meet.
Before your arrival, Daddy and I needed a name for you. I searched every baby book, every internet site and though we liked a few names we kept hitting dead ends. The thing was, your Daddy was a fisherman, I liked the name Fin (but everyone was being called Fin) and I also wanted to try and use some part of a family name and so… the name Finlee was agreed on. Fin (as we liked Fin) and lee (after Mommy’s middle name).
On August 25th, 2009, Mommy’s back started to hurt while I was at work but I didn’t think anything of it. A co-worker suggested that Mommy go to the hospital as this was a sign of labour. As I drove from Ipswich to the Wesley Hospital in Brisbane, all I could think about was what if I get to meet you today. And you know what, the doctor advised that since it looked like I was starting labour and since he was at the hospital today was the day!! Your doctor advised me to go home, get my suitcase, call Daddy to meet me at the hospital because in 4 short hours you were going to be here.
I was anxious Finlee John because Mommy was having a c-section. What if something went wrong? My heart was racing with anticipation. However, I was comforted by a room full of professionals, Daddy quietly shitting himself beside me and then the moment happened… at 6:09pm, on August 25th, 2009, they lifted you out of my tummy, slowly lowered the blue sheet that separated you and I meeting, and there time stood still… you were there, you screamed to say hello, you had arrived and you had made me a mother.
In the 2,190 days that you’ve been part of our life, there are far too many memories to write. The first time you went to the beach when our friends Shannon and John from North Carolina came to see you, your first time meeting your Australian cousin Hunter, the first time you met Nana and Pop, your first Halloween costume, your first shower, your first Christmas tree/ornament, your first time meeting Grampie, your first Christmas, your first trip to Tasmania, your first time trying solids, first time meeting your family from Canada, your first dying of Easter eggs, my first Mother’s day, your first computer and your first birthday.
Our first year with you Finlee was awesome, but every year since then has been equally as awesome. You’ve traveled to Canada, America, Antigua, Hong Kong, Macau, Bali and all over Australia, creating so many wonderful memories with us. You’ve taught me to slow down, you’ve taught me to laugh again and in 6 short years, you’ve taught me to love each and every single day. Here’s a snap shot of your 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th birthdays (please note Finlee – you love a good cupcake; haaaa).
The one person I haven’t mentioned so far is your love for your little sister, Chloe. You have been so kind and tender with her, showing respect for her, helping her when she needs it, but allowing her to grow too. I hope you and Chloe will grow up to be the best of friends, share stories, travel the world together and continue to nurture the relationship you two have for one another. Remember Finlee, she’s family and you’re her big brother.
What I wish for you Finlee as you enter the wonderful age of 6, is that you continue to be kind, continue to be the sensitive soul that you are, continue to be caring and continue to be lovable. Remember, these traits alone are much more powerful and important than anything money can buy.
I’m aware my days are numbered holding your hand, having you sitting on my lap, picking you up to carry you to bed and even having you sleep in our bed at night time. I want you to know that I cherish these moments more than you’ll ever know. I lay in bed at night, staring at your sleepy eyes, having your middle of the night koala hugs and waking up to those beautiful hazel eyes.
It’s now 9:46pm and I’m no closer to starting the cupcakes. For the last 2 hours, I have had the chance to slow down, look through photo albums, remember the moment, the sound, the place that so many of these memories were made. And tomorrow when you wake up and for everyday after that, I look forward to more memories being created.
I love you Finlee John.
Love always and forever,
Mommy xx
Oh this is just so beautiful, I was in tears by the end as my story was very similar with our twins…although I did look that good after my c-section haha! What a lucky little man Finlee is to have a such a beautiful caring Mum and now letter to cherish as he turns 6. My girls just turned 5 so i know what you mean about time going so fast.
Always wondered how you came across the name Finlee and now i know – I hope you both enjoyed the special day…and I bet the cupcakes were good 🙂